Supporting LGBTQ+ Girl Scouts
Even if you don’t think anyone in your troop identifies as LGBTQ+, you can and should work to be inclusive. You never know who might be quietly questioning their identity and looking to you to see if they’ll be accepted when they decide to share. Troop members might also have queer or transgender parents, siblings, friends, or other loved ones. We know how important a troop leader’s support and acceptance can be to Girl Scouts, and we know how much you want to be there for your troop! Read on for tips on how you can be supportive and welcoming to LGBTQ+ youth and families in your troop.
Check your assumptions
Don’t assume that everyone in your troop is cisgender and straight! Statistically, it makes much more sense to assume that at least one person in your troop either already identifies as queer and/or transgender, or will in the future. With this in mind, take a look at the statements below and why they might not be inclusive to LGBTQ+ troop members:
- “When you have a boyfriend someday,” or “has a boy asked you to the dance?” Don’t assume that everyone in your troop wants to date boys now or in the future, has crushes on boys, or wants to date anyone at all.
- “Make sure you tell your mom and dad.” Some kids have two moms, two dads, one parent, a step-parent, a non-binary parent, or other family structures.
- “Okay ladies, time to go.” Even in Girl Scouts, avoid referring to a group by overly gendered terms whenever you can. Try using other words like everyone, friends, Brownies, folks, team, or say the troop number.
- “Boys do this, girls do that.” Avoid stereotypes and binary thinking (implying that boys and girls are fundamentally different, opposite, and there are only two options when it comes to gender. If you want to learn more, check out the Gender and Sexuality 101 virtual training available on gsLearn!)
Don’t be afraid to talk about it!
There’s nothing inherently inappropriate about LGBTQ+ identities or talking about them with your troop. Even when you don’t initiate discussions about sexual orientation and gender identity, it likely has or will come up in a troop setting.
Sexual Orientation refers to the gender(s) of people who someone is attracted to. This could include who someone has crushes on or wants to date, and might be described with words like gay, straight, or bisexual. Just like with any other topic, as a troop leader, you can make sure that these conversations are age-appropriate and that everyone is being respectful of each other. It’s important to maintain appropriate boundaries with your troop while still being a welcoming and affirming leader.
You also talk about gender—we’re Girl Scouts, so it’s in the name! So much of our programming has to do with gender, whether that’s breaking gender stereotypes around STEM and the outdoors, or working on the aMUSE, aMAZE, or GIRLtopia journeys, which all focus on problems girls face in the world.
Keep in mind that even in Girl Scouts, there’s likely gender diversity in your troop. Not all Girl Scout members identify as girls; in a 2021 survey of high school Girl Scouts within our council, 17% said they use pronouns that are not she/her, such as they/them or he/him. That means gender identity and expression are likely to come up in your troop, especially as your troop gets older. And even if everyone in your troop does identify as a girl, everyone expresses gender differently, like in what they choose to wear or how they act. Acknowledge this in your troop and help your Girl Scouts work to break down the girl-boy binary when you discuss issues related to gender.
If you avoid talking about LGBTQ+ issues or quickly change the subject every time they come up, kids might think you’re not supportive or accepting. Try to be intentional about representation: can you include LGBTQ+ people as special guests, in books you read together, or on field trips in your community? Can you hang a pride flag in your meeting space or wear a button that expresses your support for queer and trans youth? Depending on the age and interest of your troop, read a picture book about a child with two moms, do a Take Action project related to supporting the LGBTQ+ community, or attend a local pride parade or family event (these often happen in June, Pride month).
Someone in my troop came out to me—what do I do?!
Congratulations, this likely means that this young person trusts you, values your opinion, and feels safe in their troop!
Here are some other things you could say in response:
- “Thank you for telling me—I’m so glad you feel comfortable being who you are here!”
- “I’m so happy you felt like you could come to me with this! I care about you a lot and want you to feel safe and respected here.”
Here are some things to avoid:
- “We already knew!” This can make it feel unimportant or make someone uncomfortable especially if they are still figuring out their own identity
- Asking invasive questions about someone’s body or relationships
- “That’s not a real identity/I don’t believe you/you’re too young to know that.” Everyone is an expert on their own gender and sexuality! Their identity or how they think about it might change over time, but that doesn’t invalidate how they feel now.
Other tips:
- Don’t tell other people (including other troop members, their parents/caregivers, or anyone else) without permission from the person who came out to you.
- Remember that your reaction to this person might signal to others whether you are welcoming or not (Other kids in the troop might be queer too!).
- Ask if they need or want any support from you, and take cues from them—do they seem to want to talk about it more? Do they need your help with something? Do they want to move on quickly?
- If a troop member comes out as transgender, ask what pronouns and name you should use for them, both in the troop and with their family or others. These answers might not be the same, depending on where they are at in their coming out journey.
- Don’t be afraid to come back to the topic later if you’re not able to have a conversation at the moment, such as if someone comes out in the middle of a group activity. Quietly bring it up one-on-one at a different time.
- Seek out support, information, or resources as needed—don’t expect the person who came out to educate you on everything.
- Want to learn more? Check out these recommended resources.
Robin Webb – Robin is the Program Coordinator—GSLE at Girl Scouts River Valleys, which means she mostly coordinates Journey events. She graduated from Macalester College with a degree in Biology and minors in Education and Environmental Studies. She grew up going to Girl Scout camp in Wisconsin and has also worked as a Trip Specialist at Camp Northwoods. She loves being outside, learning about science, playing roller derby, baking, and spending time with family and friends.